Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm too high and old for this...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
