also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
