The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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