best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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