We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
