Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
