I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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