Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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