real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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