Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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