Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
