So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
