Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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