We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
