If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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