i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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