Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
