are you so shy because you have an std?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
