can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm too high and old for this...
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
