How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
