Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
