His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
