i always forget guys have bellybuttons
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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