she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
