it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I came so hard my ears popped.
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