well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
