I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
my poor anus
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
