AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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