Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
