thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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