Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
