all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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