chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
