I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
