You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
