is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
