those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
