I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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