just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
