OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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