I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
