She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
