shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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