i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Can you bring me the toilet please
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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