so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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