i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
