guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
