then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
