Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He shit in the fireplace
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
