Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
