i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Bring me that man meat
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
