At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
