Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
