I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
