No awkward lesbian experiences without me
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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