I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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