I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
