im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
