Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
